For this post, I’d love some help from my readers. My band needs a name. A good name. If you don’t listen to too many bands, your suggestions are very valuable. I’d love to hear some non-musically influenced suggestions to stretch the boundaries of what a band name can signify.

I have been in a bunch of bands over the years, and one aspect that seems to get the least thought is the decision on a band name. To give you an idea of the lack of creativity/dismal attempt to seem funny, tongue-in-cheek, or artistically profound, I’ll give you a list of some of band names I played under since I started playing guitar:

1) “The Mark”- my band name from 8th grade. Not good. Not terrible either. I think we just decided to name ourselves after our friend Mark… we weren’t that smart back then.

2) “Valhalla”- Believe it or not, my dad actually suggested this to me in 9th grade. I guess he thought it sounded like “Van Halen” but with a mythical Norse twist? I’ll give my dad a mulligan on that one.

3) “Caelum”- Junior year of high school, this band I was in thought being named after some sort of astronomical phenomenon would be profound. It wasn’t.

4) “The Carradines”- This one isn’t actually that bad. The coolest guy around after Kill Bill Vol. 1 came out was David Carradine, of course.

5) “The Bjardkur Gang”- It’s okay if you don’t know how one would annunciate this name. Nobody could. The way we explained it was if you combine The Golden Girls beloved actress, Bea Arthur, with Icelandic vocalist Bjork…thus “Icelandicizing” her name to Bjardkur.

Come to think of it, both Bea Arthur and David Carradine are now deceased…

I obviously do not name bands very well. I am currently in a metal band which is mainly for fun. We’d like to start playing some local shows but we need a name in order to do that. The problem is that although we play heavy metal music, there really isn’t anything “metal” about us. We do not paint our fingernails black, have long hair, and worship Satan.  Nothing about us that screams, “WE ARE METAL!!!” We live in Malibu for God’s sake.

I want our name to convey the music we play, while at the same time suggesting that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. It would be lame if we had a name like “Assault Machine” or something aggressive because it wouldn’t be honest and would seem forced.

Bottom line: looking for a name that reflects an energetic, heavy, rhythmic music with melodic vocals, and fast guitar solos, while implying the excitement of simply playing music. We’re not trying to conform to a specific scene. We just love our metal.

Anyway, if any of you guys have think of any interesting phrases or adjectives along this vein, please share. I’d love to hear suggestions for band names from non-musicians and musicians alike.

On that note, here’s some songs for the week from bands with AWESOME names:

Metallica: “Enter Sandman,” from their 1991 platinum album, Metallica. Metallica, originally a thrash metal band in the 80’s, became the most popular metal band of all time, creating palatable heavy music that even non-metalheads seem to enjoy.

Pink Floyd: “Time,” from their 1974 masterpiece Dark Side of the Moon. Dark Side is one of my favorite albums. If you ever feel compelled to get a great album that is perfect from start to finish, BUY THIS ALBUM!

Radiohead: “Karma Police,” from their 1997 album, Ok Computer. Great song. Great band. This is one of their more melodic, radio-friendly hits. They have gone very experimental over the past decade but this album had the perfect balance between their subsequent experimental direction and a conventional “Brit-rock” vibe.